


Say Cheese!

by slytherinenigma



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Discord: Bellamione Cult, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:01:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23633515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherinenigma/pseuds/slytherinenigma
Summary: This is completely AU Just a fun fic of Hermione and Bellatrix Visiting an Annual Cheese Rolling Festival
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Hermione Granger/Bellatrix Black Lestrange
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	Say Cheese!

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to the people in the Discord: Bellamione Cult 'Hell'

“Hmmm morning pet, any spare coffee for me?” Bellatrix croaked mid stretch as she padded barefoot into the kitchen. Hermione turned around with a look of Horror.

“Bellatrix don't tell me you're not ready!”

Bella looked at her confused as she moved over to the freshly poured mug. She couldn't understand why she was stressing so much. 

“Don't worry pet, we have plenty of time” she pecked a morning kiss on the muggleborn as she went to look at what was on offer for breakfast.

Still pissed, Hermione spoke again. “Bella, you do remember my parents are coming for 10am to pick us up?”

“Of course my little flustered bunny, which is why I asked you to wake me up at 8” Bella chuckled.

“Yes which I did but clearly you fell back to sleep and judging by your lack of awareness of the time, you didn't get up till 9.45, and my parents will in fact be here in 10 minutes!”

Bella spat her coffee out mid-sip at the bombshell her girlfriend dropped and continued to lecture.

“So unless you are planning to wear your Toothless onesie -” Hermione’s eyes roamed over the Dark dragon-themed attire her dark witch was currently wearing “ - I suggest you skip breakfast and get changed immediately!”

Bellatrix sat in a huff in the back of the Car. She had briefly met the muggles before, but this was the first time out in a muggle setting with the family. She couldn't understand why they couldn't just apparate to the destination, but Hermione had been insistent her parents wanted to travel the ‘muggle way’. It would seem her parents were still not so keen on magic since getting their memories back and realising the extent of what their daughter had done to protect them.

So here she sat in the back seat of Mr Grangers Rangerover, Staring rather bored out of the window and feeling hungry after having to skip breakfast. She had been obliged to come with Hermione and the Grangers on this trip after being ‘sold’ it as a cheese and wine experience day. 

It was only from the conversation going on in the car, that Bellatrix realised they were going to a festival. As this dawned on her she looked at Hermione in horror. Hermione realising that Bella had twigged, Look across at her sheepishly. opening up her mind loud enough that Bella couldn't miss the plea of “Please don't say anything I promise I will make it up to you when we get home”

  
Bellatrix begrudgingly kept quiet, but oh she would make her pet pay for it later. She tapped her nails irritatingly on the window. Mrs Granger, noting this, turned around to face Bella and asked “Would you like to borrow my iPhone and earpods to distract yourself with music until we get there?” She passed them through without waiting for an answer. Bella reached out, taking them looking confused, over at Hermione for guidance. Hermione gestured putting the earphones in her ears and then pressed play on the phone before handing it back to Bellatrix. What Hermione hadn't realised what she had in fact hit the repeat button so that the same song which was Anarchy in the UK by the Sex Pistols, was on repeat for the next thirty minutes until they arrived at their destination.

They parked up and could see that the place was already heaving with people. Hermione could feel the tension pouring off Bellatrix who was completely out of her comfort zone. The dark witch scowled when an unknown muggle had walked past too close to her. Mr Grainger piped up “Let's go and get some refreshments and a good spot at the top of the hill so we can watch the racing.”

Bellatrix did not look happy about this idea. “I think I will go for a little walk first. I will come and find you on the Hill when I get back.”

Hermione looked worried and offered to go with the dark witch, but Bellatrix stood her ground and proceeded to wander off on her own. She made her way up the side of the Hill wandering slowly to avoid interacting with the crowd. She noted the tables stocked up with what looked like large wheels of cheese. Intrigued she wandered over for a closer look at the cheese. Then behind her, she heard a rather obnoxious voice.

“Hey Greebo, You gotta win the cheese before you can eat it” a young man sneered. Bella looked up across to see who had spoken. She looked at the skinny, 20-something-year-old male who appeared to be wearing a ridiculous outfit. It was blue with a giant ‘S’ on the front and a red cape. She recalled this ‘Superman’ outfit from those ridiculous comics her nephew had become obsessed with in recent times.

Superman took a step forward looking her up and down and grinning like an idiot. 

“What are you meant to be, one of Dracula's wives?” he asked, chuckling to himself. A few of the other people around him also laughed. She bared her teeth in Anger, oh she was so tempted to Hex this little turd but knew better in such a public area. Superman continued in his arrogance. “I'll be happy to share my cheese with you when I win,'' he winked.

A steward popped up behind Bellatrix, clipboard in hand. “Name” she drawled not even looking up.

“What?” Bellatrix snapped. The woman looked up blinking as she stared at Bellatrix

“I need your name?” the Woman continued. “If you're participating, I need to write it down otherwise you need to leave this area”.

  
Superman laughed again, “In those shoes? I seriously doubt she is going to compete, Though that would be funny to see!” he continued chuckling.

Bellatrix look down at her platform boots, probably not ideal by the looks of that hill below them. Then again she could hardly imagine cheering for an idiot dressed in a superman cape. 

“Bellatrix Black” she told the steward in determination. “What are the rules?” she demanded. The steward looked up taken aback. 

“Throw the Cheese, wait a second and then chase after it without breaking your neck. First one at the bottom wins.” The woman who wrote down on her clipboard and carried on.

Superman was now looking rather intrigued. “Well this should be interesting” he said before slinking off back to his little fan club.

Hermione stood on the fence line halfway up the Hill along with her parents. Holding her paper mug of coffee. She still had not seen Bellatrix, and was beginning to feel anxious more for the people around her than Bellatrix herself, knowing what she was capable of.

A megaphone called out explaining the race was about to start, telling the contestants to line up at the top with their wheel of cheese. Two consecutive gunshots went off a second apart and Hermione and her parents cheered and watched large wheels of cheese hurling down the hill and the mob of participants careering after, many were tripping up almost straight away falling down the hill rather than running, however a flash of black caught her eye in the foreground, as it went passed hurtling down the hill at record speed.  
“Was that . .?”Her mother began.

“It can't be?” Mr Grange cut her off, along the same thought trail.

“It is” Hermione sighed in disbelief as she watched her girlfriend flourish to the bottom uninjured and holding up her wheel of cheese Victoriously. 

The crowd was silent for several seconds all in disbelief. The only sound that could be heard was Bellatrix humming Anarchy in the UK. No one had ever caught the cheese until now. 

A deafening roar blew up as Bellatrix continued to hold her cheese, looking over with a sly grin as Superman slowly crawled to the bottom, badly injured and looking at Bella in disbelief.

 _‘cause I want to be anarchy_

Bellatrix continued to hum as a heel kicked up dirt at Superman's face as she turned around and headed back to find her girlfriend. 

Hermione continued to stare, gobsmacked as her girlfriend sauntered over holding her cheese wheel, a smug look on her face. Mr and Mrs Granger congratulated her as Hermione still continued to stare lost for words. Bellatrix turned to her “Can we go home pet I fancy some wine.”

Hermione just smiled and nodded, turning to her mum and dad telling them they would make their own way home and thanked them for taking them out. She turned and followed her girlfriend, walking somewhere discreet so they could apparate. 

“They landed in the kitchen cheese wheel still in hand as Bellatrix turned to Hermione 

“Where's my victory kiss pet?”. She burst into giggles as she put her arms around the dark witch's neck and pulled her in for a long tender kiss.

“I can't believe you did that?” she laughed. “Never would I think I'd see the day Bellatrix Black would go cheese-rolling!” 

“Well the day isn't over yet pet, and if I recall you said you would make it up to me, so go and grab a bottle of wine. I'm going to go and sit in my onesie in the living room and put on ‘How to Train Your Dragon’ and we can have that cheese and wine experience you promised me originally.” 

  
_SlytherinEnigma_


End file.
